theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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