The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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