Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
