am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
