So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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