I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
