I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
