My hand turned me down
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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