she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This baby is an asshole
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
