So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
