Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
