and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
