Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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