Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize