And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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