nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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