His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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