Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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