just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
