i think i have herpe
just one?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
