Screwed.edu
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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