I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize