if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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