This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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