Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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