Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
