I just made out with a guy for $7.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
