do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
