Can i not drive my cunt home
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
