would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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