Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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