woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
