he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
