just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
they need to just BURY HIM!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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