She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
