so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
