if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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