I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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