No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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