Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
