i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
