***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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