I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize