How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
