He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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