This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
How does it feel to date your dad?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
