i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
