i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
