Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
