i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize