One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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