no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
