We got so high we made milksteak
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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