Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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