So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
