I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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