I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
