Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
