She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
