chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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