I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
