Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
