The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
