yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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