they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
